I’ve seen a lot of videos going around of urban-dwelling critters coming to humans for help with various problems, ranging from boxes stuck on their heads to young trapped down a storm drain, and it’s gotten me to thinking:
On the one hand, it’s kind of fascinating that they know to do that.
On the other hand, setting any questions of how this sort of behaviour must have arisen aside for the nonce, does it ever strike you how weird it is that we’ve got a whole collection of prey species whose basic problem-solving script ends with the step “if all else fails, go bother one of the local apex predators and maybe they’ll fix the problem for no reason”?
well, come to think of it, we’re at the top of the food chain but we almost exclusively hunt and kill prey out in the country.
raccoons and possums and foxes and crows all succeed in an urban environment because they’re opportunistic and observant. and almost none of them would have observed us pounce on one of their species and then start eating it, you know? a lot of them would have observed that we scream and chase them out of wherever we don’t want them to be, but other animals are territorial too. but there’s a number of situations where humans feed whoever’s bold enough to take them up on the offer, and we do tend to pull garbage off of other animals as soon as they slow down enough for us to catch. ‘a human got me but nothing bad happened’ is a much more frequent thing than ‘a human got me and tried to eat me’.
anyway like, we’re masters of our environment, we make weird shit happen all the time, we have lots of great food and sometimes we share, and we almost never eat someone. it makes sense for urban animals, over the last century or so, to just keep an eye out for opportunities to use us, and to pass the habit on to their kids.
It really is a weird, funny thing. Like yeah, technically they’re predators, and they get pretty screamy, especially if you try to take any of their stuff… but given the chance it seems like they’d rather help us out and sometimes they’ll just randomly give you food, so???
I mean, I guess in fairytales and myths we’ve got our fair share of stories about dangerous people/creatures who might well kill you or otherwise ruin your life, but to whom people nonetheless turn for help in desperate circumstances. So it’s not like the perspective is exactly a foreign thing to our own mindset, really… It’s just that, y’know, we can’t actually go make a deal with the faeries when there’s something we can’t figure out.
(Which brings me to an interesting thought about the ubiquitous rule about never eating the faery food lest you find yourself forever unsatisfied with anything in the human world – and the potential parallels to the dangers of feeding wildlife human food lest they become addicted and too tame and dependent to be safe for either themselves or us. Hmm.)
Okay, but that last bit with the Fae…makes almost perfect sense.
Of the stories I’ve read, the food of the Fae, its origins and effects, are often strange and/or obscure.- Just like our food to most animals.
The Fae are strange beings that seem to know weird things that give them power or an edge over us.- Just like us to animals.
The Fae work and live by strange rules also often nonsensical or obscure to us.- Just like us to animals.
The Fae can easily obtain vast amounts of things we consider rare/precious/desireable, and have no problem with dishing it out wantonly for no other reason than amusement.- Just like us to animals.
The Fae sometimes are amused by having us around, but only on their terms and IF it amuses/intrigues them.- Just like us to animals.
GUYS, I SENSE A PATTERN….
-they have arcane social conventions and the punishment for not paying the correct respects right is banishment, if you’re lucky, and death if you’re not.
-they have wild and unexpected parties where you’d least expect to find them, but if you’re bold enough to entertain them they’ll feed you and caress you and play with you all night.
-time runs strangely in their realm. their homes are summerlands: warm and bright, no matter the season. there is always fruit on their tables. but not everyone who comes in from the cold is let back out again.
-their games are cruel and complex and unfair, but if you can beat them by their own rules you will access riches beyond imagining.
-sometimes they just fucking fuck with you, the fuckheads.
-they will absolutely steal your children away. when your children return— if they ever do— they will come back strange. they will know things they shouldn’t. they won’t know things that they should. your strange children might survive, might even prosper, might take wives and husbands and have children of their own. but they will always be marked by their time away from your world.
-the price for pissing them off is always death. sometimes just you. sometimes your whole community.
-if you are very good, and very smart, and very brave, they will grant your wish.
My eyes just got wider and wider the further down I read.
imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and there’d be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales there’d be giant deer and just wow
I found this Youtube channel run by a Japanese chef and it’s actually better than porn? First all all his cinematography is off the charts. Youtube videos have no business looking that good. Second of all, everything he makes looks SO TASTY, and he explains the recipes in such a simple, soothing, manner. Third off all, he does this all while his two adorable kitties watch??? Like… they are so intent on what hes doing but they never run around or hop on the counter???? He has a stool for them to sit on as he makes his recipes Im gunna die
Look at this and tell me it isnt the best thing on youtube
he and his (American) wife have a youtube vlogging channel all about being an international couple and they have thREE CATS THAT HE COOKS WITH
You should see the video where he restores a knife…
Incorrect, he has two cats he cooks with, Haku and Nagi. If Poki were permitted into the kitchen when Jun cooked, he would immediately throw himself into the pan, determined to eat whatever was in it.
Poki is my favorite cat. uwu
poki sounds like my cat jasper
how did he film such a lovely video by candlelight? i’m impressed! also it’s so restful, and he has beautiful hands, and the kitties are so cute. it made my morning. thank you for sharing.
Poki is actually in his newest video:
My terrible trash cat finally graduates to being in cooking videos ❤ Im so proud of him ❤
Since once in a blue moon I actually discover a decent rule for adulting, and since I know I have followers a few years younger than me who are just entering the workforce, I want to tell you about a very important phrase.
“I won’t be available.”
Imagine you’re at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day off–coming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really don’t want to give up your day off.
If you consider yourself a millennial you’ve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if you’re a gen-Z kid you’re likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:
Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Cave when they pressure you to come in anyway, since you’re not doing anything important.
Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Over-apologize and worry that you looked bad/unprofessional.
Lie and say you’ve got a doctor’s appointment or some other activity that feels like an adequate justification for not working.
The fact is, it doesn’t matter to your boss whether you’re having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you won’t be at work. So telling them why you won’t be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.
If you say “I won’t be available,” giving no further information, you’d be surprised how often that’s enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even say “sorry, but I won’t be available.” But don’t make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, they’ll accept that as a ‘no’ and try to find someone else.
But bosses aren’t always professional. Sometimes they’re whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer is–politely and sympathetically give them no further information.
“Are you sure you’re not available?” “Sorry, but yes.”
“Why won’t you be available?” “I have a prior commitment.” (Which you do, even if it’s only to yourself.)
“What’s your prior commitment?” “Sorry, but that’s kind of personal.”
“Can you reschedule it?” “I’m afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?”
If you don’t give them anything to work with, they can’t pressure you into going beyond your obligations as an employee. And when they realize that, they’ll also realize they have to find someone else to come in and move on.
ive had weirder dreams. I think the best weirdest one was a reoccurring nightmare I used to have as kid. do yall wanna hear it
ok *cracks knuckles* here goes.
DREAM 1
when we first moved to my childhood home, the house was already kinda old. (it used to belong to my dad’s boss) the house already had a couple of furniture including some beds, dining set etc. Except for the bedroom, the rest aren’t really important so here’s a little sketch of a part of the house’s floor plan
we turned the smaller bedroom into a guest room and the bigger bedroom into a kids’ room so we moved the bed to storage and replaced it with a bunch of smaller beds.
Anyway, one of the first nights, I had a dream where I was standing in the bigger bedroom with a bunch of people in uniform. The big bed was back where it was but there’s a pool of blood in it. I overheard one of the cops mentioning something about a body not being found. Suddenly, I looked at the open door and saw the mirror in the guest room. In the reflection, there was a girl lying on the floor staring at me.
Since then, I was always afraid of the guest room.
I hated the house at first. I always thought it was haunted. There was also a giant tree in front of the house that was believed to be housed by spirits. (While playing there, I was told by some guy.. I think he was a gardener.. he saw my mom offer the tree some home cooked meal as a sort of peace offering but that’s a story for another time).
DREAM 2
For some reason, I was standing in the laundry room. I heard someone say “hey” and when I turned around, someone was hiding behind one of the clothes.
she continued to say “hey” as I started to approach her but then I woke up
The girl somehow started appearing in some of my dreams and every time she was playing a different role: a neighbor, a classmate, a friend, a stranger. She was older and had long black hair. She was always wearing white. At that time, I never even noticed how often she occurred in my dreams. I kinda just accepted it.
DREAM 3
The cops were back, walking around in my bedroom. The girl wasn’t there. I realized I was late for class so I ran outside. The street was littered with mutilated hands.
For some reason, I picked up one of the hands and tried to wash it with a gardening hose until it stopped bleeding. I don’t remember the rest of the dream.
DREAM 4
Remember I mentioned there was a large old tree in front of our house? It more or less looked like this:
I used to be scared of it especially at night because it looked like a giant hand in the darkness. Behind it was a wall and on the other side of the wall was a river. I always wondered what the river looked like but I never found until I was in high school and I was finally tall enough to see the other side (while standing on a chair).
Anyway, it was summer vacation and I had a dream where I was in my room. The girl was outside standing on the roof peeking through my window and was calling me to come outside. We went to the tree and I noticed the tree now looked like it was split in half. There was no wall but just a vast expanse of water as far as the eye can see.
I still remember it vividly. It was one of the best dreams I had.
DREAM 5
I had a dream where the river overflowed and flooded the whole neighborhood. I thought my parents were somewhere in the neighborhood basket ball court so I swam there but when I reached the area, there was nobody there. The creepy thing was that the whole time, I was being followed around by some guy I didn’t know.
DREAM 6
Near our house was an old factory. I used to hang out there with my other friends until our parents forbade us cause it was dangerous (obviously). One night, I dreamed I was walking by the factory and I heard someone call me from way above on the factory rooftop. She was sitting there by a really long ladder and urged me to climb on top.
When I reached the roof, suddenly there was just a land of rooftops that stretched towards the horizon. I followed her into a rooftop window which lead to the inside of the factory. Inside were just some machinery and a pier leading to the ocean in my last dream. There was a large chain (the ones you see on large ships) attached to the pier leading to something that looks like another factory in the horizon. She mentioned something about going there by walking on the chain but then I woke up.
Although she still reappeared in a lot of my dreams, I don’t really remember them as much as I vividly remember these ones. The last vivid dream I’ve had of her, we were classmates. She told me to be careful.
DREAM 7
this wasn’t really much of a dream but more like a dream where you’re awake?? I’m not sure what you call it. I was just under the sheets and I heard her whispering close to my ear that my mom is heading to my room and that I should get up soon.
Soon after, my mom opened the door and told me to get ready for school. I don’t remember how or at which point I woke up.
DREAM 8
I was walking home from school when I saw the man who was following me in another dream just standing there on the side. He was holding a knife.
I avoided his stare and quickly walked past him. I noticed he was starting to follow me so I ran. Before I knew it, he caught me and there was a knife in my back. I woke up.
That was the last vivid dream I ever had involving the man.
Okay, so years and years after. My dad finally retired. We wanted to move to a new place in a better neighborhood that was nearer to the city. It was a long process which involved lots of packing. I didn’t realized we had so much stuff and we had to leave some of our things behind. Strangely enough, our fridge suddenly stopped working. After that, two of our air conditioners. Our tv, then the couch suddenly split in half. We ended up leaving them all. My mom, like a passing thought, said maybe the house spirit was finally retiring too and I looked at her like she was crazy. Then my brother said “oh thank god. I thought I was the only one who thought there was a ghost in here” It turned out, we were all aware that the house might have been haunted but nobody wanted to point it out.
On the day of the move, we all said goodbye to the house as well as the “house spirit”. I called out to the ceiling that the house spirit could move in together with us if they wanted.
A few months later, my brother and our dad went to the house to check up on it. He said he overheard one of my dad’s friends mention that nobody wanted to come near it. It just gave off that weird feeling. Like someone was staring from out the window. The house is gonna be torn down soon.
The girl stopped appearing in my dreams since then.
Many of you are telling me that she was a ghost. I honestly can’t say. Maybe I just had a really powerful imagination as a kid. But if she really was, I hope she found a good boat that could bring her to that factory thing in the horizon that she was talking about. It would suck having to cross a big fat chain on foot.
One thing I’ve learned in life, if you act really self-assured and confident you can pretty much get away with anything.
For example, I’ve watched someone walk on to a plane with no passport. Just walked right on.
Once walked out of a dude’s house with a pair of his pants slung over my shoulder. Did all the usual eye-contact, saying-goodbye movements and noises, just… while stealing his pants. He did not notice.
I told my English teacher that she graded my final paper(I did not turn one in) and that she told me it was well written. She scrambled 3 days trying to find the nonexistent paper, then apologized to me for losing it and gave me a 96%. Confidence is key
my dad’s mate just walked out of a shop with a canoe and didn’t get questioned
Humans are like bees: if they sense you’re an intruder all hell will break loose, but if you get inside the hive they just assume you belong there. Be confident.
marshcookie 