gallusrostromegalus:

I’m living in Durango right now!  And yes, you are in bear/cougar country. So this essay’s going to sound real scary but consider: I’ve lived in CO for… 13 years now, and have seen exactly One(1) bear and evidence of a Cougar Once.  I’ve also never been attacked or even severely harassed by an animal, so this is mostly In Case of Emergency Advice.

THE  MOST IMPORTANT THINGS:

1. ALWAYS BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS.  Really, traffic is going to be more dangerous, but being as aware as possible will help you more than anything else.  You know that thing you’re supposed to do when driving where you check all your mirrors every so often?  Do that while walking. Look up, to either side, down and behind you every so often.  Keep your ears open and if you think you hear something, stop and listen for a bit.  Take some deep breaths, and smell the air around you.

This is good for both your safety AND for enjoying the lovely country we have out here.  Once you get used to looking around, its really nice all the cool things you can discover!

2. DON’T PANIC.  Douglas Addams was spot-on with is advice.  if you do encounter something Dangerous, remain calm.  Odds are that if you hold still and just watch, it’ll keep going about its business and leave you alone. 

***
OK, now for bears and cougars:

1.  Cougars are really shy and almost never confront humans (the last fatal cougar attack was in 1997, so literally 20 years ago), but if you’re hiking in the back country and suddenly smell cat pee, TURN RIGHT THE FUCK AROUND and walk back the way you came.  Fresh piss means it’s in the area, and running makes you look like food.

2.  Bears also, tend to stay away from people, EXCEPT:  in March and September-October, bears get stupid hungry and go looking for food in all kinds of places.  Never leave pet food outside, and if you compost, stop during those months.  The bear that broke into my house did so under extenuating circumstances- there had just been a large wildfire that summer so he got pushed out of his usual foraging area.

3.  In general, you’re MOST likely to encounter bear and cougar in the far back country.  If you plan on doing back country hiking, wear LOTS of bug spray and bear-bells.  as long as you stink and make noise, they’ll sense you coming and leave you alone.  You can also sing!

4. if you DO encounter one either 1. Go back inside and call the Department of Wildlife, or if you’re not near a building, 2. Scream, make yourself look as big as possible and throw rocks or sticks at it.  99.99% of the time, that will scare it shitless and it will run off.

***

OK, now for the animals you ACTUALLY are likely to encounter:

COYOTES: Urbanized, come out at night and from January-late March, they’re all hyped up on sex hormones and can get super-aggressive, triple especially if you have a dog with you.  Carry mace, and if you see them, follow the Screaming-Shit-Throwing Maniac Model stated above.

TICKS:  we have brown dog ticks here that carry Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and Deer ticks that carry Lyme disease.  if you’re in urban/suburban areas, they’re less of an issue, but if you go into the back country, do not skimp on the DEET (follow instructions carefully tho!) , tuck your pants into your socks and have a friend check you when you get home.  if you find one, make sure you remove the whole thing, keep the body sealed in some tape and get tested ASAP.

MOOSE, ELK AND DEER:  I’m not sure how far north you are, but the most dangerous wild animal in CO is Moose.  Really. Stay on designated trails and out of the back country from October-November to avoid rut, and exercise caution in spring when calving happens.  Do not approach, and if they put their heads down while Facing you, they are going to charge your best bet is to book it sideways and climb up a rock or large tree.

Deer and Elk tend to be less moody, but are still unpredictable, especially if they’ve become acclimated to humans, and during rut October-November.  Keep your distance, and if they’re on the move, give them the right-of-way. DO NOT attempt to feed or pet.

RATTLESNAKES: Mostly an issue in the southern half of the state.  They mostly want to be left alone and come with their own alarm system!  Though they sound less like maraccas and more like a vibrator set on high.  Stay ON the trail and OUT of tall grass from March-October, and you will very probably never see one.  If you DO see one, wait for it to leave or walk a good six feet around it.  they can only strike in a distance of 3-4 feet, so stay away and you’ll be fine!

If you do get bit, stay calm, sit down, call 911 and take off any rings, jewelry etc. that may get stuck if your extremities start to swell.  Let the wound bleed freely for a minute before cleaning.  About 8000 people get bit every year in the US, but only 8 die of it, mostly from not calling for help. 

LIGHTNING: not an animal, but the Most Dangerous Thing in CO after humans and cars.  If you can hear thunder, you are within striking distance and need to take cover.  Get inside a building or car if you can. If you can’t, squat down to keep your head low, and touch the ground as little as possible, and wait for it to pass.  DO NOT try to hide under trees, which tend to explode when struck.

***
So that probably sounded awful, but I promise that your chances of actually getting in a dangerous situation are very low as long as you stay alert and calm.

Happy hiking!